NERDGASM! Empire interviews uber-fans, Smith, Pegg and Wright about Star Wars

Everyone who has seen a Keven Smith film knows that he's a huge Star Wars fan, but unless you've seen Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright's cult Brit hit Spaced, you probably wouldn't know that their love too borders on unheathy obsession (Fun Fact! Peter Serafinowicz who plays Dwane Benzies in Spaced and Pete in Shaun of the Dead is the voice of Darth Maul.) With their fantastism being will documented, it's no surprise that the UK's premier film mag, Empire interviewed them about Episode Three and all things Star Wars. Gasp in surprise when Pegg and Wright express their disapoinment in the prequels. Swoon, when Smith talks about his plans for the television series. Fett/Solo mexican stand-off? Oh yes!
Classified under: Star Wars,interviews

Dog Condoms

For those who are part of the Church of Barker, you are aware that one of the main tennenants of your religion, besides "Come on down, for redemption!" is keeping the animal population in check. Neutering your dog can be expensive, or bloody, if you decide to takematters into your own hands. Thanksfully Dog Condoms are here to assist you. Created for pet owners concerned by canine profilicness and beastiality pornographers, they keep your dog's sperm inside a latex sheath, the place that *all* sperm belongs. You know it be true. To increase variety, you can purchase some condoms with specially added scents, added to the sexual allure of using contraceptives. A must for anyone interested in keeping the dog population down.
Classified under: dogs,condoms

Marvel Team Up: Avengers/ Bush Administration

Classified under: Marvel,

Zombies: a survival guide

With the trailer for Romero's Land of the Dead hitting the internet, we at MKZ would like to help our readers out in case of a zombie attack. First up is Ashwing's illustrated How To Kill a Zombie In 12 Steps. Zombie literature has taught us that zombie elimination is one's primary task when exploring and fortifying new areas. Inversely, there's a website on how to survive a zombie attack. Despite being more defense orientated, it does give great advice, such as seeking out something stronger than a t-shirt (something that I've only seen in 28 Days Later). Lastly, the Straight Dope does a more scientific approach to the zombie filled world and answers the questions "how long will the electricity last"? Consider this your cheat sheet when the undead start to walk the earth.
Classified under: zombies,

New Batman Begins Trailer

The new Batman Begins trailer is here and it kicks serious ass. They seem to have gotten it right from what I've seen so far.

Classified under: Batman Begins,trailer

More Weird Japanese Sex Ed Books

The site is entirely in Japanese, but don't let that frighten you. Okay, maybe the heart shaped ovaries might instill a little fear, or perhaps a a little boy feeling up an oversized sex doll will
Classified under: sex,Japan

Skateboarding Dog

This dog is probly better at skateboarding than any of you.

Classified under: skateboarding,webjunk

11 Year Old Fights The Evil Of Loonatics

Remember Loonatics? Of course you do. Loonatics was Warner Brothers attempt to pull a Poochie on the Loony Tunes characters by making them "edgy" and "dark". Edgy, like naming Bugs Bunny after a vibrator. Classy. Thankfully, we're not the only ones that thinks the idea is shit. Enter 11 year old Thomas Adams. He publicly has denounced the redesign and has managed to score 95 000 names in a petition to keep the traditional designs. The WB replied by saying that the design for the series is now " have been revised into characters that are softer and less menacing". You can read more on news story here, and, if you're feeling bold, you can always sign the petition
Classified under: loonatics,

Graphitti artist gives props to the Pope John Paul II

A renowned graffiti artist, arrested last year for defacing the facade of a Bronx building, is back in everyone's good graces after spray-painting -- with permission -- a bright red-and-gold tribute to Pope John Paul II.

James De La Vega's latest work, painted on the security gate of a Spanish Harlem storefront, was created to bring hope to the poor and struggling in his Manhattan neighborhood, he said Wednesday.

"This Pope understood pain and tried to relieve it," said De La Vega, 32, standing in front of the artwork.

Classified under: art,graphitti,pope

Gallup: 50% of Americans Now Say Bush Deliberately Misled Them on WMDs

Half of all Americans, exactly 50%, now say the Bush administration deliberately misled Americans about whether Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, the Gallup Organization reported this morning.

"This is the highest percentage that Gallup has found on this measure since the question was first asked in late May 2003," the pollsters observed. "At that time, 31% said the administration deliberately misled Americans. This sentiment has gradually increased over time, to 39% in July 2003, 43% in January/February 2004, and 47% in October 2004."

More.

Filed under: news,Bush

The Tale of Two Penes

"I've got two penises but no wife, but I am hoping when I get rid of one of the penises I will get her back."

His testicles are intact and will be connected to what is actually his third penis when doctors are happy the operation was a success

Three penis operations? Oy!

Penes, of course, is plural for penis. Clitorides is plural for clitoris. For future reference, you know?
Classified under: penis,
.

Breakdancing Quadrapaligic

I'm sure that everyone at one point has asked themselves how people with little stumplets can get down and boogie. Thanks to the glories of the internet, the answer is here.
Classified under: dancing,

Insert "Crabs" joke here

The previous post was one of the first times that "OMFG" was used as the tag. I imagined some fun would come out of it, and behold...it did.

Classified under: OMFG,

Creepy......

Words cannot explain it.

Classified under: OMFG,

Soylent Green is People!

Classified under: science,

The Monkey Who Suckled Her Breast and the Woman Who Loved Him

There is a story behind this image, but in this case, I feel that a picture speaks a thousand words.
Classified under: webjunk,

Extreme sports: Sumo Tubing

Only in America could a cultural sport performed by obese men could be mutated into an extreme sport promoted by Moutain Dew drinking 20 somethings. The mind boggles.
Classified under: sports,extreme,sumo

It's Karate Kid: the musical

Hollywood and Broadway have been mating again. It's no surprise, really, their offsping, like the musical the Producers turned out to be a huge sucess. It's no wonder they threw away the condoms and went at it like rabbits. It's Karate Kid is one of those children. Whereas the Producers was big and strong and bought his date flowers, It's Karate Kid shifty eyed, prone to experimenting with strange pills and dating weird women. Genetic difference aside, It's Karate Kid looks like a fantastically funny piss take of the Karate Kid trilogy. Who would have thought that Mr. Miyagi would have been reinvented for the 21st Century as a Morpheus-lite James Brown-esque singer? Not I. Want proof? Check out Wax On, Wax Off(mp3).
Classified under: Karate Kid,musicals

Pulp Fiction's Jules Winnfield: Junior Hockey Coach

Want to see what Jules did when he decided to "walk the Earth"? Then watch the video.

Classified under: Pulp Fiction,hockey,Samuel L. Jackson

Gingerbread Porn

Originally uploaded by Mike Myhre.

My ex and my friend Trish made these porn cookies around Christmas time. There were some violently dismembered cookies replete with icing blood as well, but unfortunately I didn't get pictures of them.

You wish you had a gameroom like this....

*balls explode*

Classified under: Video Games,

La Petite Mort

Beautiful Agony is the love child of internet cam girls (and boys) and the Japanese festival favourite, One Shot style of film making. The videos are incredibly erotic focusing on the participant's faces as they reach the big O intead of the regular mix of boobs, ass and extreme butcher store vagina closeups. They offer a free video daily and it's well worth checking out
Classified under: masturbation,sex,movies

Daily Eyerape

Despite all the levels of wrong that this is working on, can anyone think of an apropriate Star Wars quote that goes with this?
Classified under: Star Wars,

I am 8-Bit: A video game art show

great artwork from your Nes Classics

Classified under: Nintendo, art

Huge ass Nintendo Controller

I SAY...PAUSE!



Classified under: Nintendo, Video Games

Romanian Sex Goddess Makes Her Boyfriend's Penis Explode!

Explodo!
Classified under: weird,sex

The World's Best Ad For Lube

At first, this ad for Manix lube looks innocent, then, it slowly sinks in.
Classified under: sex,advertising

The American Education System Delivers

For your consideration, an excerpt from an 8th grader's essay on nature's dumbass, the koala.

I shouldn't do shit. I don't care about them they all
could die and it won't affect my life. I know a lot about them
but I don't need to think about them. They're just a waste of
time koalas are stupid they don't help me with shit so why
should I help them. If they all die there will be more room for
the panthers and all the other hard animals. Koalas are weak a
pit will get rid of their whole fucking family. That's why I
don't like koalas.
Koalas have sharp claws but they are weak. They all small
and fat and they be climing trees. I hope a storm just come
while theyjust chilling up in the tree thinking they is hard and
they're will all just fall off. They just break they neck and
shit. When they fall they claws are going to fall off and they
going to be crying like some little bitches.

If you want more proof that the American educational system is delivering on the promise that no child will be left behind, let this essay be the evidence.
Classified under: webjunk,

Hellcycle?

Check out this pic from the latest Guaranteed-to-Suck Marvel movie: Ghost Rider. Fire tires look cool though.

Classified under: Ghost Rider,movie

Jews in the News: Viagra is kosher

Although David normally covers Jewish news, I thought, with Passover approaching this weekend, that all Jews should be reminded that Viagra is indeed kosher.
Classified under: Judaism,sex

Monkeys: they fight crime!

The Mesa Police Department is looking to add some primal instinct to its SWAT team. And to do that, it's looking to a monkey.

"Everybody laughs about it until they really start thinking about it," said Mesa Officer Sean Truelove, who builds and operates tactical robots for the suburban Phoenix SWAT team. "It would change the way we do business."

The monkey, which costs $15,000, is what Truelove envisions as the ultimate SWAT reconnaissance tool.

Since 1979, capuchin monkeys have been trained to be companions for people who are quadriplegics by performing daily tasks, such as serving food, opening and closing doors, turning lights on and off, retrieving objects and brushing hair.

Truelove hopes the same training could prepare a monkey for special-ops intelligence.

If special-ops means excessive masturbation and shit throwing, I think that drafting our nearest cousins would be a wise choice in the battle to fight crime.
Classified under: monkeys,

When only the freshest Japanese women will do....

Classified under: Japan,

Peek into the cartoon fridge......

To see if you like the following cartoons:

Dairy Section

The Simpsons
Family Guy
Futurama

The Meat Shelf

The Venture Bros.
Clerks
King of the Hill

The Wild Game Drawer

Looney Toons
Ren and Stimpy
Rocko's Modern Life
Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Do you like these cartoons but are tired of searching for torrents or what not to download them? Don't want to download and entire series just to see one favorite ep? Well COME THE FUCK HERE and watch each ep...streaming and steaming, cause it's hot as fuck.

Classified under: cartoons,video

The Ad Graveyard

I know mine has.

Advertisements that were just plain offensive, too stupid or just too risque to print or distribute. For the lazy ones of you, to proceed to the next ad, there should be a "more" link near the end of each first paragraph

Classified under: Advertisement,

Here's an idea for a field trip...

Let's hit the aforementioned Virgin Mary/Vagina underpass with this:



More in link.
But I warn you. Sacriligious isn't a sacriligious enough word to describe the bottom one.

Vagified under: dildo

Holy piss stain, Batman!

Catholics around the world have been flocking to this mysterious underpass to see the face of the Virgin Mary. But, to be honest with you, I don't see a face. I see a woman's vagina. Am I the only Catholic who does?
Classified under: micacles,religion

You owe it to yourself to visit the Wooster Collective.

The Wooster Collection is exactly what it claims to be. A celebration of street art. And they update a lot. Funny, moving, beautiful and interesting examples of guerrilla art.

Classified under: art

Everybody needs a little love...

Classified under: love, boobies

white stripes - Get Behind Me, Satan

Follow the link to read a great review from MTV of all things for the upcoming 5th White Stripes album Get Behind Me, Satan.

Classified under: white stripes,music,review

Anal Croissant

Originally uploaded by kowchow.

If you ever wanted to know the value of the mixture of French food mixed with American style buggery, we now have the answer.

Classified under: photography,Burger King,

Schoolhouse Rock homages, well, rock!

Even when done for blatantly commercial pursuits like this one.

Classified under: animation,Schoolhouse Rock, computers

American cosplayers are outta control!

I gotta give credit to the Americans. When they do something, they do it big. Take for example, Mad Max fans. To promote the Mad Max trilogy, they dressed up like characters from the movie, hopped into heavily modded cars and chased a tanker. The police were not amused.
Classified under: roadwar,

Random Facts about Vin Diesel

Classified under: Vin Disel,

Best thing evah!

Ross Ross? Super Grover? Yes, please!
Classified under: Alex Ross,Sesame Street,toys

New MMORPG Announced

Crime-fighting! Collecting nuts! This thing will be huge!

Classified under: humour, video games

Strange Harry Potter Japanese slash

While some people would argue that Japan is a country that's full of perverts, I'd argue that the country is proof that no matter where you come from, geeks will always be perverts. Lets take Harry Potter, for example. Everyone knows that over zealous fans write shoddy sexual fanfic about the characters, but it takes someone with a special talents to write Hermione slash with stylish Hemmingway staccato.

She uses magic to open a zipper of his pants. His penis pops up from his pants. It is already erected. She puts it in her mouth and sucks it up. Harry brushes and asks her to quit it. She won?ft quit doing it until she obtains his sperm. Harry finally ejaculates. Harry almost looses his consciousness after the ejaculation. She is very satisfied. She puts his sperm on a flower pot and put it near a window in order to give it plenty of sunshine. She is very annoyed because it seems like Harry gets back his consciousness and starts touching her butt.

And then, the author writes about the mating habits of teenage cat-girls in heat.
Classified under: Harry Potter,hentai,slash

For the teenage viewers of our audience.....

Sometimes there are things that only the internet can answer.

Dear TeenHealthFX,
I am an 18-year-old Asian. I’ve heard that Asians are blessed with short dicks? Is it true? Does frequent masturbation cause Parkinson or any other disease?
Signed: Asisan & Masturbation Worries

Dear Asisan & Masturbation Worries,
A man’s penis size has nothing to do with race. Penis size is determined by your genetic blue print. For more information, please see the question Penis Size.
Masturbation does not cause Parkinson’s or any other debilitating disease. To give you a better perspective on masturbation, see TeenHealthFX’s response to Masturbation And My Health.
Thank you for giving us the opportunity to dispel some of these myths.
Signed: TeenHealthFX

Dear TeenHealthFX,
I wanted to know what it was called if you tried to have sex with a tree?
Signed: Sex With A Tree

Dear Sex With A Tree,
Sexual pleasures and gratification derived from unusual sources are commonly referred to as Philias. Sexual pleasure from a tree is sometimes called arborphilia.
TeenHealthFX would like to……………..never mind.
Signed: TeenHealthFX

Classified under: Teen, Health

I Love Death...

Classified under: Flash Movies,

Now these are romance novels I can dig...

Classified under: Romance,

Oddworld Creatore Leaves gaming industry

Really nice interview about the Lorne Lanning, the creator of the Oddworld series and his qualms about the game industry.

Classified under: Oddworld, Lorne Lanning, Games,

the Film's of Kim Jong-Il: Pulgasari

We've featured the world's wackiest dictator before but I think that it's time to revisit the weird world of Kim Jong-Il. The last time we mentioned him, we focused on his flashy gun handling skills and his oppulent self indulgent festivals. This time, we're going to focus on the lighter side of Kim Jong-Il, his obsession with cinenma. Fun fact: did you know that Kim Jong-Il's favouring of a film will make it number one at the North Korean Box Office? The powers of a dictator! He likes films so much, that he once kidnapped famed South Korean director Shin Sang-ok to direct films for him. One of those films was Korea's answer to Godzilla, Pulgasari.
Classified under: movies,Kim Jong-Il

Anime Dickgirl classification

Ok granted "Take on me" isn't purely dickgirl. But if you ever wondered why someone would decide to slap on a dong on a drawn woman, here is the site to just give you a short but suitable explanation why.

Classified under: doujin, Hentai, Dickgirl

First Superman Returns Pics

Lois Lane

Classified under: Superman,

Dada Art Dolls

"But what is Dada, I hear you say? Dada is a state of mind. Dada applies everything to itselfand yet it is nothing;it is the point at which yes and no and all opposites meet. Dada is useless, like everything else in life. And Dada has no pretentions, like life should have none.
-Mr. Nobody
Classified under: toys,art,Dada

Snake eats Kangaroo

Classified under: Snake, Kangaroo

The Roadmap to Sesame Street

Here's an interesting read for you guys. It's about the trouble and tribulations of creating a Sesame Street for the Middle East that reflects the changing political cliamte and the ongoing peace process. Who would have thought that the Muppets would have been so political?

An Israeli boy out riding his bicycle takes a wrong turn, gets a flat tire and winds up stuck in a Palestinian neighborhood. There, behind a wall, he spots . . . a couple of shaggy Muppets.

Happily, this is Middle Eastern "Sesame Street," where Jews and Arabs are on friendly terms even though they live on separate streets. So the Palestinian Muppets get to work replacing the tire. Stereotypes are shattered, everyone smiles and all ends well.

Or does it?

"When we interviewed Palestinian preschool teachers, they were angry about the segment," said Cairo Arafat, an expert on preschool education here. "They said, 'The Israelis have taken everything from us--our homes, our land--and now we're giving them a bicycle wheel?' "
...
"We asked ourselves, are we producing 'Mission Impossible' or 'Sesame Street'?" said Lewis Bernstein of Children's Television Workshop in New York, project director for the Israeli-Palestinian co-production.

Classified under: politics,television

Sajak Says

Because the internet cares what Pat Sajak (host of TV's Wheel of Fortune) has to say about politics.

Every time I argue with a Liberal, I’m reminded of quarrels I used to have with my parents. The battles never seemed fair because my folks decided what the rules were and what was out of bounds. In addition, because they were parents, they could threaten me in ways I couldn’t threaten them, and they could say things I could never say.

Yeah, I know. Plenty of people with no obvious experience or relevance (see musicians, actors) spout off their political beliefs. Who knew Pat Sajak was a conservative pundit?

Classified under: politics, Pat Sajak

Somebody hates Canadians

Classified under: Canada,

I am a Japanese School teacher

Well not me personally, but a friend of mine on SRK.com currently resides in Japan and teaches there. Living the geek dream so it seems, but not all is perfect as seen in some of the stories shared on his online editorials:

So anyway, I get asked "bigu dikku" A LOT. Every 2-3 days in fact, which is amazing considering I got asked this question about 2-3 times *in my entire life* in America. Locker room jokes aside. How do you answer that anyway? To a 12-15 year old? I wave them off and say "No no no." Then they say "Oh, sumaru dikku?" (trans. "Small dick?") and OF COURSE that's wrong so I have to correct them. It's just a no-win stiuation.

Classified under: Japanese Teachers,


Blatent plug for Robot Chicken

If you haven't seen it. Go see it. Voltron gets served!

Classified under: Voltron, Robot Chicken,

Guide to Anal sex, aka the "Ass Fuck Conspiracy"

Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I enjoy anal. Yes, I used to be a girl who said I'd never let anyone do anything to my ass. Yes, some ass-fucker got me with this plan. It took him a month (and many, many mind -blowing orgasms and naughty mid-day phone calls). No, I wasn't aware of "the plan" at the time; I figured out his evil conspiracy later and I deemed it the "ass fuck conspiracy," he laughed. Yes, we met on cl. Yes, we broke up. Yes, I was mad at him for turning me into an anal slut. Yes, I got over it. Yes, I ejaculate. No, I'm not looking for dates. Bye!

Classified under: Anal, Sex, Conspiracy

ZOOM QUILT AHOY!

Classified under: art,

Bukookies!

Classified under: sex,food

SAVE THE GREEN PLANET!

This is one of the best trailers I've seen in years. I must see this film. I must see this film. C'mon, repeat it with me. I must see this film. OUT LOUD! I MUST SEE THIS FILM! OK, now make it happen.

Classified under: save the green planet,movie,trailer

Vagina dentata, anyone?

Leave it to the Swedish to come up with this innovative defense against rape:


It's just a design, but still. I think feministing has the best commentary on it from a female perspective that I've seen.

While the Femdefence website claims that the killer tampon can't hurt the wearer, I don't know how enthusiastic I'd be about putting anything near my vagina that has a fucking metal spike.

Classified under: rape,

the Passion of the Gun Lobby

Classified under: Jesus,

Bob Harris' commentary on "America We Stand As One"

I'm almost starting to feel bad for the guy, who has been mocked mercilessly for what was apparently a completely sincere effort. I mean, how would you feel? Years after making this obscure little power-ditty for charity in the wake of 9/11 (and remember, a lot of folks had their brains scrambled by all that), his total web traffic apparently doubles in just two weeks -- and almost all of it from people who think he's suddenly a poster boy for everything crass in American culture.

Man. That must suck.

Granted, the video has perfectly captured the wide-eyed innocent empty screaming averageness Christopher Guest and friends have built entire careers out of simulating. There's no getting around that. Rarely has such a perfect item ever been created. You can almost imagine people holding midnight showings and acting out the parts in costume.

...

This is the freakin' stunt guy for an off-network TV show raising money for fire widows by getting Lyta from Babylon 5 to weep in a Los Angeles pet cemetery, for crying out loud, because he loves this country, dang, and that's the best he can goddam come up with right now.

Say what you will about the music, but how can one not respect that?

Seriously.

I really like Bob Harris. I think he's smart, funny, inciteful, and deserves wider recognition in the left-wing blogosphere. Not that linking to him on this site will help.

Classified under: politics, music video

PIG OLYMPICS in China!

Photo © BBC

These pigs run, jump, and swim almost anything but fly. Thousands of Shanghai residents have turned out to a city park to watch a herd of pigs compete in what organizers are calling the "Pig Olympics," the Shanghai Daily newspaper reported Tuesday.

Athletics performed by a midget species of Taiwanese pigs? If only I had a passport.
And a time machine... and money...

Classified under: pig olympics,news

HARDCORE! The trailer for Tony Jaa's new movie is up!

The director of the hardcore actioner Ong Bak has reunited with the world's coolest martial artist since Bruce Lee, Tony Jaa, for their follow up film Tom Yum Googn. Although the trailer hints that Jaa is an elephant fighter, we see no human versus pachyderm combat. Instead, we see him dropping thugs like bowling pins. Combine this with Kung Fu Hussle and Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, it looks like it's gonna be a great year for Asian cinema.
Classified under: movies,Tony Jaa

The Photography of Kaoru Izima

"I'm a photographer for women's magazines, so that's what I'm used to. But more importantly, when you ask women about how they'd like to die, their answers are always much more interesting and imaginative.

"Men are too serious and scared of death, and their answers are usually boring. They always say things like: 'I'd like to die surrounded by naked women.'"

Found via Pantiespantiespanties.
Classified under: photography,Kaoru Izima

Mike on a Bike

Originally uploaded by Rob Andrews.

My pink lowrider bike is so pimp it almost tricks out your sister. I found it by a dumpster in my alley. Instead of the air cap on the front tire it's got a dice. Old school back-pedal breaks, gold sparkly handles and a banana seat. Custom paint job. This fucker is a beaut. (pronounced bee-oot)

The best movie never made

The protagonist's challenges throughout the story are:
1) A seagull attack gave him Seagull Herpes, an incurable disease that will soon kill him.
2) The seagull attack also tore a bone within his calf in two. His best medicines are herbs and acupuncture, so the bone never fully heals, and it causes internal bleeding for him to walk. The story involves him running a lot.
3) He has to save his continent from a thing that is destroying it. A corporation has been selling an additive in forms like cigarettes that is not a virus, drug, or nano-machine. Nobody knows what it is, but the smell causes addiction. Withdrawal is fatal. The protagonist has few people willing to help and most have died.

Nothing more needs to be said, frankly.
Classified under: movies,

Pac Hats!

Not only do Pacman hats increase your geek cred, but they're fantastic for popping pills so that you can chase ghosts at raves or for that extra passionate edge when you're wolfing down pussy.
Classified under: hats,

More Japanese Crime Fighting Perverts

In the name of the moon, I will punish you!
Classified under: webjunk,porn

Britney Spears is trailer trash... er... I mean Pregnant...

Looks like that former queen of preteen pop has topped herself. She married a back up dancer with 2 kids from a former relationship and now she's pregnant. My only commentary on this issue is as follows: HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Classified under: Britney Spears

HTTPanties

f you've ever run across a "403 Forbidden" error on a web site, it means you've either stumbled onto the wrong page, or you've been snooping where you shouldn't be! One nice thing about the Hypertext Transfer Protocol that runs the web (HTTP for short) is that it includes helpful status codes such as "404 Not Found" when a resource can't be found and "403 Forbidden" when the web site you're knocking at does not want you to come in. One rarely seen status code is the elusive "200 OK" which basically means that everything went fine, and you're seeing the page you're supposed to be seeing...

...Feeling frisky? Well then don the black "200 OK" panties and see where they take you. Alternatively, the white "403 Forbidden" style sends a very different and hopefully clear message. New for 2005 we bring you two more styles: 411 Length Required and 413 Requested Entity Too Large.

A fashion statement, or a chance to show women in their underwear? You decide!
Classified under: panties,

America! Fuck yeah!

Rob already showed us the attempt to make a stirring tribute to the USA's fortitude in the fact of adversity, but there one was problem with it: not enough firepower. I mean, angels and kids is plenty good - if your a pansy wuss! It needs F-16s and explosions.

Fortunately, someone realized the shortcomings of that video and perfected it. USA! USA!

UPDATE 4/14/05: You may notice this is no longer online. Word is the creator of the original video was a little miffed about those parodying his work - or perhaps he thought they were actually trying to steal it. Regardless, the original page now has a message up saying "DO NOT BE FOOLED BY IMITATIONS". Indeed.
Classified under: music video,

Weird pseudo hentai

Found a security hole. Starting penatration. Starting cyber hacking on target.

Heh heh, this is your reward for not doing a Windows Update. So? How does it feel to get penatrated via the security hole? I'm going to inject the virus deep into you.

That's right. Someone made hentai based on Operating Systems. And it's RAPE!tastic.
Classified under: hentai,

Communique from the Unitarian Jihad

Tired of fundamentalist groups in the US getting all the attention, the Unitarian Jihad has decided to fight back!

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States! Too long has your attention been waylaid by the bright baubles of extremist thought. Too long have fundamentalist yahoos of all religions (except Buddhism -- 14-5 vote, no abstentions, fundamentalism subcommittee) made your head hurt. Too long have you been buffeted by angry people who think that God talks to them. You have a right to your moderation! You have the power to be calm! We will use the IED of truth to explode the SUV of dogmatic expression!

People of the United States! We are Unitarian Jihad! We can strike without warning. Pockets of reasonableness and harmony will appear as if from nowhere! Nice people will run the government again! There will be coffee and cookies in the Gandhi Room after the revolution.

Man, it just doesn't get any better than using the IED of truth to explode the SUV of domatic expression.

Classified under: religion, politics

How about some good news about penis enlargment?

A Russian man born with genitals so small that he was unable to have sex has been given the chance to lead a normal love life after a new penis was "grown" on his arm during pioneering surgery.

In an 11-hour operation, plastic surgeons in Moscow removed the 28-year-old's undersized penis and stitched it on to his left forearm, where they grafted on additional flesh and tissue taken from his inner arm. The newly enlarged organ, which had grown from less than 2ins to nearly 7ins, was then reattached to his groin.

His surgeon, Professor Mikhail Sokolshchik, of the National Medical Surgical Centre, hopes that the patient will eventually be able to have sexual relations and father children.

Does this mean that we'll soon be bombarded with "grow your own cock" Spam? It would be great to see, if only for the do it yourself testamonies.
Classified under: sex,

The PSP is as evil as Kefka

Introducing Sega Fantasy VI, a remake of parts of Final Fantasy VI (Final Fantasy III in the US) with video game consoles as the characters. For a retro-gamer like me, this was hilarious with lots of great in-jokes, though I'm sure many more are lost in the translation (it was originally done in Japenese).

Beware, it's long. Took me at least 20 minutes to watch the whole thing.

Classified under: video games, Final Fantasy, PSP

How to sell a PSP

Look at those pictures! OMGWTFBBQ!

Classified under: video games, PSP

Nintendo a capella

While there were certainly better quality a capella groups at my university, they never managed to work video game music in their acts. I would have appreciated it more if they had more variety of games and hadn't stuck to standard Super Mario Bros. stuff for most of it, but I can understand that they wanted the maximum amount of people to recognize the music.

Classified under: video games, a capella, nintendo

Penis Enlargement Surgery Fucks Up Man's Sex Life

surgeon left a patient virtually impotent after operating to lengthen his manhood, a lawsuit claims.

Eric Neuberger, 31, contends his pre-operation libido let him "engage in intercourse approximately 30 to 50 times a month."

But his sexual appetite was destroyed by Dr. Rodney Barron's work, Neuberger said.

Mutilate your penis and your sexual appetite is destroyed? I see the correlation. But the best part of the article comes near the end.

He is claiming unspecified damages for mental anguish that he argues forced him to drop out of school and hurt his musical ability.

Hurt his musical ability? Oh my God...
Classified under: sex,

Cookie Monster To Promote Healthy Eating

Something must be wrong in the land of Muppets. First PBS announced that "Sesame Street" would kick off its 36th season this week with a multiyear story arc about healthy habits. No problem there; childhood obesity rates are soaring. Then I learned of changes that turned my "Sesame Street" world upside-down.

My beloved blue, furry monster — who sang "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me" — is now advocating eating healthy. There's even a new song — "A Cookie Is a Sometimes Food," where Cookie Monster learns there are "anytime" foods and "sometimes" foods.

"Sacrilege!" I cried. "That's akin to Oscar the Grouch being nice and clean." (Co-workers gave me strange looks. But I didn't care.)

Classified under: television,

America We Stand As One: the music video

Rumour has it that this music video's special effects were done by guys that worked on Star Trek. Don't be fooled, however. Judging by the beach and the weird shot of the statue of liberty, it looks more like they're trying to promote a remake of the Planet of the Apes. The most frightening thing about the video? The lead singer, of course. He was hit by the ugly stick enough that Geddy Lee looks like a super model.
Classified under: music video,

Mr. T's music video Treat Your Mother Right

Classified under: Mr. T,music video

Golden Palace Amuses Me To No End

In a perfect example of Americana pop culture phenomenon, a grilled cheese sandwich that bears the image of the Virgin Mary has been sold on eBay to Internet casino GoldenPalace.com for $28,000 USD.

Seller Diana Duyser made the sandwich ten years ago, and after taking one bite out of it, noticed the Virgin Mary's face staring back at her. She put the sandwich in a clear plastic box with cotton balls and kept it on her night stand. Duyser, 52, believes the sandwich has brought her luck over the years and is truly convinced of its divinity.

'I would like all people to know that I do believe that this is the Virgin Mary Mother of God,' says Duyser, a work-from-home jewelry designer. 'That is my solemn belief. People ask me if I have had blessings since she has been in my home. I do feel I have, I have won $70,000 on different occasions at the casino near my house.'

No willing to be trumped by their purchase, they also went the extra mile and bought a Dorito that looks like the Pope's hat.

Classified under: webjunk,

Pope reborn as superhero

Pope John Paul II is being reborn in a Colombian comic book as a superhero battling evil with an anti-devil cape and special chastity pants.

The first episode of the “Incredible Popeman” is about to go on sale in Colombia and shows the late Polish pontiff meeting comic book legends such as Batman and Superman to learn how to use superpowers to battle Satan.

...

“He isn’t John Paul II any more,” Leon said. “From now on, he’s the Incredible Popeman.”

Classified under: religion, comics, Pope

Stubborn Nerds Are Too Stupid To Admit That They Waited In The Wrong Line

Star Wars fans have started queuing seven weeks early for the opening of the final movie - but appear to have camped outside the wrong cinema.

Dedicated fans are lining up outside the famous Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood but have been told it will open on 19 May at a cinema a mile away.

Producers opted to open the film at the ArcLight cinema, making it unlikely other cinemas in the area will show it.

But the fans are refusing to move, believing the news to be false.

Can we have triumph the insult dog interview them? Pretty please?

Classified under: Star Wars,nerds

God's message

Taken from an ad for Shalom Auslander's humorous book of short stories, Beware of God: Stories.
Classified under: religion, Judaism

Why I dislike memes

Rob has heard me say "Fuck you and your memes" many a time. I was never very good at putting into words why I didn't like memes (or rather, the concept of memes). Partially it was because it just seemed like a pretentious way of saying "idea". Partially it was because it reminded me of social Darwinism - how a scientific concept was co-opted for social engineering purposes. Anyway, this guy has a great esssay on the problem with memes.
Classified under: memes, science

The Found Footage Festival

We at Moon Karma Zero have been fans of found stuff for a while now. Knowing this, it shouldn't be a suprise that I'm stoked as a fire about the Found Footage Festival, the cinematic equivilent of Found Magazine. What can you expect to see there? Judging by the preview, it looks to be a bunch of sly stuff, with weird network promos and over the top training videos. And did I mention that a middle aged man says fuck? Yes.
Classified under: festivals,Found

Hello everybody

I'm not sure what the proper etiquette is when added to a group blog, but it seems one is supposed to make some sort of introduction, so here's mine.

I'm David Goldberg, the newest contributor to Moon Karma Zero. If you want to know more about me, you can check out my web page and then click on Personal Information to get a glimpse into my head.

I agreed to Rob's request that I contribute on the conditions that I had to post no different and no more frequently than I do on my livejournal, so if you want to a sense of what I might contribute, check that out (Looks like mostly video games and US politics with a smattering of Judaica.) Since y'all like pictures, I'll be using more of those, even though I am morally opposed to image leeching.

Okay, that's it. Carry on.
Classified under: introduction,

Weezer's New Video "Beverly Hills"

Shot at the Playboy Mansion and featuring Hef in the opening, this is a fun li'l video full of great weezery weezerness. Woo! =w=eezer!!

Classified under: weezer,music video

Gorillaz have returned with their new music video: Feel Good Inc

Directed by Jamie Hewlett (of tank girl comic fame) with peter candeland, their new video is an incredibly stunning piece of animation. Although the song isn't as catchy as Clint Eastwood, it's cool to see that the Gorillaz are back and pumping out good music.
Classified under: music videos,Gorillaz,music

"It's not a too-mah!"

Classified under: freaks,

Holy cow! Scientists create rectal bovine simulator

The simulator was initially developed during an MSc project as a virtual reality based teaching tool for veterinary students to supplement existing training methods. The simulator uses haptic technology, which allows the user to interact with a virtual environment through their sense of touch. During a training session, the student palpates computer generated virtual objects resembling parts of the bovine reproductive tract. The teacher can visualise the student's actions on the computer screen and therefore provide instruction and feedback. The project uses the PHANToM force-feedback haptic device (from SensAble Technologies), which is positioned inside a fibreglass model of the rear-half of a cow.

And, thus, the first brick to the road of a virtual fisting simulator was lain.

Classified under: webjunk,